Winner, Lauren F. “Deeper Into Chastity,”  Christianity Today, May 2005, pp. 32-33.

 

Author of the book, Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity, Brazos, 2005 and article, “Sex in the Body of Christ,” Christianity Today, May05 [see EYS Review], Lauren Winner here becomes vulnerable in sharing her own sexual history.

 

Growing up in “an observant Jewish community,” she admits to having her first sex at age 15 to a boyfriend met at summer camp. Gradually that relationship dissolved, but entering college, she continued sexual activity.

 

As a graduate student in England she became interested in Christianity. She came to believe in Jesus and was baptized.

 

I read the Gospels. I prayed the Psalms. I wore a small silver cross around my neck, proclaiming to passerby that I am part of this tribe whose allegiance is to Jesus.

 

But there were other things that you might expect a Christian to do, and I did not do them. I didn’t forswear sex. I didn’t tithe. I didn’t especially enjoy going to church on Sunday mornings…. I knew, dimly, that Christianity doesn’t look kindly on premarital sex, but I couldn’t have told you much about where Christian teachings about sex came from.

 

Winner describes her philosophy of sex at that time as something that as long as it wasn’t harmful or completely meaningless, God wouldn’t care. She made up her own pledge according to such vague guidelines—and broke it more than once.

 

Finally, at confession while mentioning her sexual indiscretions along with other things, the priest confronted her: “Well, Lauren, that’s sin.”  Something clicked in her mind and heart as she heard what she sensed to be the truth.

 

 

I wish I could say that at that moment I abandoned all that smacked of sexual sin and never looked back; but that’s not true. But I did begin what has been a sometimes-halting movement, deeper into chastity.

 

 

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION

 

1.   Why the title of this article?

 

2.   Do you think these things about Winner’s personal life should better have been kept private?  Why or why not?

 

3.   Why do you think the author has chosen to reveal such personal issues about her life?

 

4.   What is the power of personal stories?  What can we learn from this story?  What can people learn or how can they be helped by your story?

 

 

5.   What can we learn about sex and about our struggles for sexual integrity from this story?

 

 

IMPLICATIONS

 

1.   Sex can feel so good and natural, and having sex when we feel like it is affirmed by pop culture as so normal, that choosing any other path is difficult—and needs to be supported, not only in Scripture and spiritually, but with positive support from those who care.

 

2.   In an age of sexual confusion and carelessness in culture and communities of faith, Lauren Winner has made an important contribution.

 

 

Dean Borgman   c. CYS