Oraker, J. (1989, January). "Control or worship, what is our emphasis?" Inside the Mission. Colorado Springs, CO. (Reprinted in its entirety, with permission.)

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This question is commonly asked by people if they know nothing about us, and if they are concerned about their children in their communities. This is a valid question.

This issue is especially important to me now because I was recently asked to consult on a case involving the recruiting and training techniques used by a bonafide cult-techniques I found blatantly destructive to human dignity. Though the methods seemed obviously abusive: indoctrination by brain washing, deprivation of food and sleep, separation of mothers from children, and personal humiliation, their stated purpose was to bond the members to a supposedly religious group. In reality the underlying motivation was self-serving mind control, not worship.

Though those of us on Young Life staff would immediately recoil at the thought of using any of these tactics to gain followers, the subtle temptation of using control as a tool in ministry is ever present. We must remember that those of us in ministry are accountable for our methods and we must diligently strive to rid our lives and ministries of methods which do not enhance the individual before God. Our task is to present every individual mature in Christ, not mature in their loyalty to us.

In addition, as this case progressed, I was struck by two observations which have heightened my concern with this issue:

• The fragile and impressionable nature of the human psyche. The kids we work with may appear mature, tough, in control-but they are kids. And oftentimes kids with great needs, aching loneliness, kids searching for direction, comfort, and guidance.
• The need some individuals have to control and manipulate others. Any kind of leadership position provides a possible forum for the abuse of this need. Young Life leaders are in a tremendously powerful position as they interact with kids. They are the role models, they are the leaders; they provide answers, hugs, and encouragement; and they speak the Word of God. The needs influence the message.

As I thought about the obvious destructiveness of these techniques, it has helped me realize that my needs also influence my message. I have come to realize that sometimes I need to have all the answers. I need to be right.
For me, to be right seems to give me a sense of security, a comfort in my day-to-day living, a feeling of being in control, and an insidious inability to really be helpful. In short, tightness can dominate my relationships until I have nothing to give but advice. My compassion is swallowed up by criticism, my empathy lost in self-righteousness, and my mission to proclaim Christ tinged with cultish exclusiveness. "Do it my way or look elsewhere," may not be the words I verbalize, but it is the message of my life in shouts.

Why do I do this? Why is it easier to control than to worship?

Control puts me in charge-it''s the living out of Satan''s desire, "I will be like the Most High." Worship on the other hand takes all control away from me, it reveals to me my true position-that of a servant, of creature, not Creator. In worship the answers aren''t fixed, only the relationship is certain. And in any truly loving relationship the answers are never easy. There is a certain ambiguity, a certain tension. In worship God shows me the importance of being open and of trusting Him for all situations.

Evaluate your messages. Look at your messages as a window to the content of your motivations. From our interactions with people, from hearing them talk, we usually know what themes people are preoccupied with. From the way they present these themes we usually know what their attitude is. For example, if I am a very productive person, I may assume that other people need to be very productive according to my standards to properly serve God. And if I think that guilt is a good motivator, my messages may be intentionally or unintentionally very guilt producing.
Specifically:

• Listen to your messages. Tape record 3-5 of them.
• Ask yourself, "What overall themes are coming through? Is anger or guilt or pressure an unspoken thread through the message?"
• Ask yourself, "If I heard the message, what would I come away with emotionally? Would I feel guilty? Would I feel open to God''s love? Would I feel judged or accepted?"
• Ask, "If I were a kid, what would I be challenged to do?"
• Get someone to listen to the tapes and give you feedback. Ask your supervisor, regional director, or regional training director to listen and provide feedback. It would not have to be a person to person-you could send tapes to your regional training director and interact on the phone or by mail. Or gather together several local youth pastors for mutual feedback.
• No matter what the critiquing method, discuss the questions above. In addition, seek advice on what you might want to watch out for, or be cautious of in your presentations. Don''t forget to affirm yourself and one another. Some individuals convey God''s love and acceptance in incredible ways through their voice, illustrations, and word choice. Learn from them.

Finally, after going through this exercise, as you continue to do careful message preparation, keep in mind what you''ve learned. Continue to develop a clear sense of what you want to communicate and how you are doing it. Ultimately, the goal is to begin to shift your focus from your needs to the needs of your listeners. Do not project your needs on to them, but be so sensitive to their needs that the Holy Spirit can minister with your voice.

 

IMPLICATIONS

1. No matter the style of ministry-church or para-church-it is vital to have a support group to help one grow, critique one''s programs and hold one accountable.
2. Often, what is happening in a youth leader''s life can slip into and become negative vibes when relating to or teaching kids. It is important to evaluate one''s own verbal and nonverbal communication.
3. It is nearly impossible to show others a loving and caring God if one is not in a firm relationship with Him. Young people can easily detect a ''double-standard'' message, even if the youth minister doesn''t recognize it.
4. Be supportive of self and others in ministry. Anyone in ministry is highly susceptible to spiritual warfare.

Jim Oraker and Anne Montague cCYS

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