Yates, Christen B. (2005) “Contraception: Recovering the dual nature of Sex,” S. Hamilton, MA: Center for Youth Studies.

 

OVERVIEW

 

Considering the issue of contraception within the marriage covenant elicits a host of discussions and debates. Like some other controversial topics in the Bible, contraception has no clear commands or teaching. In all such cases, it is important to look first at what the Bible clearly teaches about sexuality and contraception, and then to look at our cultures’ treatment of it.

 

The Scriptures do clearly place sex between a man and a woman within the boundary of marriage. Genesis 1 and 2 describes the first “marriage” of Adam and Eve as God’s joining them together for several purposes:  (1) for companionship so the man would not be alone; (2) for partnership in caring and stewarding God’s good creation – a “help-mate” Eve is called; and, of course, (3) for procreation as God calls them to “be fruitful and multiply.”  In Song of Songs, we read a poignant celebration of sexuality within marriage. Here we clearly see the dual nature of sex. Fertility is implied through the parallels of fruit and vineyards and gardens and lines like “our bed is verdant [green with vegetation; ripe!]”. But clearly in this erotic and fertile poetry is embedded a passionate, sensual love full of intimate pleasures.

 

When we come to the teachings of Christ and Paul, we can infer the reality of sexual pleasure in marriage, but can go no further. Considering the biblical narrative as a whole, it seems safe to conclude that God has given men and women sex within marriage both for procreation and mutual edification.

 

Shifting our gaze to our culture’s manipulation of sex, we see a stark separation of the two intrinsic elements of sex. With the emphasis on the individual and her or his inalienable rights, instant gratification with no responsibility for procreation has indeed been the norm. Contraception was certainly a powerful force in freeing sex from its marital bonds and offering it as a recreation for the unwed. Similarly, our impulse towards creating technological solutions for every “problem” or “need” - in this case “fertility” and “sexual pleasure” – has stopped at no bounds. If we can create a device for something, we do so, often with little thought to the consequences.

           

A similar phenomenon has occurred in our relationship with food and is a helpful illustration. Like sex, food is a gift from God, carrying dual purposes: to nurture our bodies but also, and equally important, to provide us with the wonderful and delicious pleasure of taste! Today, however, we’ve separated ourselves from much of the nourishment of wholesome food by separating ourselves from the production of our food. Food products travel an average 1300 miles to get to our plates, covered in wax, injected with genes to make them last longer (as in the fish gene in tomatoes) or saturated with preservatives and unnatural fats (like trans-hydrogenated fats) that are either scientifically proven or at least conjectured to be extremely harmful to our bodies. Even the “good” tastes of foods are artificial these days as the predominance of fast food chains and packaged and processed foods fill our grocery stores reveal. Few of us know what food close to its source (meaning picked from a garden or purchased from a local producer) tastes like, nor do our bodies know the incredible nourishment such foods provide.

           

Wendell Berry, a Christian farmer and cultural critic notes the parallel between sex and food in his book, The Unsettling of America. He writes, “Simply because it became possible – and simultaneously profitable – we have cut the cultural ties between sexuality and fertility, just as we have cut those between eating and farming. By freeing food and sex from worry, we have also set them apart from thought, responsibility, and the issue of quality.” While Berry does not explicitly speak to “pleasure” as an intrinsic aspect of sex, it seems he infers its presence within a sexuality connected to fertility when he refers to “the issue of quality.”

           

So what do we make of these two stories – God’s prescription and our response. Christians over the centuries have taken two extremes, from focusing solely on the procreative properties of sex and forbidding all forms of artificial birth control to a completely culturally-assimilated posture in which sex (even within marriage) is free to be manipulated as one sees fit for gratification and convenience.

           

Since God’s prescription is unclear in regards to contraception, it seems safe to conclude that it is an area open for a range of interpretations. On the extreme of being against all forms of artificial contraception, we should take caution to be grace-filled and realistic. Even though technology and the creation of devices to “solve problems” has been harmful in separating us from “thought, responsibility and the issue of quality” as Berry notes, it can’t all be dismissed as such and has clearly been used for good in a vast number of circumstances. Indeed, we all live and are quite dependent upon varying levels of technology from cars to computers to contact lenses. Moreover, artificial contraception has played a necessary role in preventing the spread of HIV/AIDS and other STD’s, it can prevent unwanted pregnancies among those who don’t know and embrace God’s covenantal design, and it can give greater freedom to married couples at certain stages in their marriage when not having children has been carefully discerned as important.  The point to be heard, however, is this: too often, we Christians have joined in with our culture’s incessant striving toward convenience and instant gratification at the loss of health and real, qualitative pleasure. This can be observed across all our cultural experiences – from sex to food production and eating, community planning and home-building, transportation and communication, entertainment and recreation. What Wendell Berry, and others, including myself, are calling for is a self-critique, a cultural critique, and a more careful use of technique.

           

As this essay has attempted to show, sex holds dual purposes and, when separated, can have unhealthy and harmful consequences. As Christians, we should strive to recover the beautiful, complex nature of sex. While it may mean embracing Natural Family Planning for some, God has given us freedom in this area and we should avoid rigid extremes across all couples and situations. At the same time, there is much in NFP that should be embraced and strived for, even if couples don’t hold to it completely. For example, every woman and couple can benefit from learning to read a woman’s fertility signs. This raises a woman’s concern for herself and a man’s sensitivity to his wife’s body and feelings—which can both be lost in busy marriages. It is an amazing discovery to see the details that God put into creating our fertility. Learning them is both an awe-some experience as well as an empowering one (many fertility problems and issues can be foreseen and handled by a woman before she has to depend upon the medical profession). Furthermore, the dialogue, restraint, and creative love-making that evolves between a couple through this process can so often deepen their love, and even, one could argue, heighten their pleasure during making love, as they work with rather than against the fertile nature of their sexuality. There can be great freedom, trust and joy that grows between a couple and their Creator when they lay aside their need for control and clumsy contraceptives (that are often both messy and uncomfortable as in condoms and diaphragms or unnatural to a woman’s system as in the pill and IUD’s).

           

Speaking as one who has used several different contraception devices in her marriage, from the pill to diaphragms to condoms to NFP, I have found the increased depth and enjoyment of sex freed from cultural and clinical constraints and returned, as much as possible, to recover those dual elements of sexuality – fertility and pleasure. While we all won’t ever completely embrace a strict NFP sexuality, I believe we should see that it doesn’t have to be an either/or scenario when it comes to contraception; that we need to be cautious and slow to use whatever forms of technology we use – always questioning how it detracts from the intrinsic and God-given qualities imbedded in something; and live and have sex in a thoughtful, careful, and pleasurable way that exhibits freedom and responsibility, grace and humility.

 

QUESTION FOR REFLECTIONS AND DISCUSSION

 

• What is your view of contraception and how did you arrive at that view?

• Do you think sex holds the dual natures of procreation and enjoyment? Do you think one is more important or more primary than the other? How would you describe their relationship to one another?

• Can you empathize with and articulate differing views on contraception?

• What are the problems you see of our culture’s view of sex and use of contraception? What about the church’s views?

• What are some ways we can help people be thoughtful, critical, and compassionate in our thinking and discussion of this topic?

IMPLICATIONS

 

• Contraception is not clearly spelled out in the Bible so we must remember to be humble and grace-filled when speaking about this to others.
• Our culture has taken much of the sacredness and responsibility out of sex and contraception is deeply connected to that. We need to be thinking through and discussing these things.
•  Issues of abstinence among teens and the rise of STD’s among teens who are having sex are deeply troubling and complex issues that we need to address, especially with youth.

 

Christen B. Yates cCYS